Two months and a happy new year!!!

It's new years eve and baby girls is Two months old today!

So many blessings happened to me in 2011: I had a baby, got married, transferred to a job a enjoy, moved, and just celebrated life! I wish I can soak in 2011 a little longer but I'm thrilled to see what 2012 may bring :). Hopefully not a little sibling for baby girl... Not yet at least. I want to enjoy her just a little bit longer.

We just got back from the doctors office where baby got her 2 month vaccinations. She did so well and she's sleeping right now. She's just an awesome little gal and I'm lucky she's my daughter. All things baby, we went to go visit another daycare. We've been going back and forth between whether or not we should do daycare or nanny I think ultimately were going with a daycare. I mean we met a nanny and even though she's a Filipino lady, I just didn't get the right vibe that I want this person watching my baby girl. On the other hand, I had all good vibes with the daycare yesterday... I saw everything, all my questions were answered and I just felt comfortable having baby there... We should know by next week what were doing...

Still on baby news...we started putting baby girl in her crib... In her own room! She's doing really well and even slept all night last night, what a treat!!! She falls asleep between 10-12 and we asked the doctor if we can get her to bed earlier! So we're going to try the bedtime feeding at 8pm and a dream feed at 10 or 11 pm and see how that pans out. We're also trying the level 2 nipples for her bottles. Crazy how baby girl is growing up!!!

I made a big decision to wean her off breast milk. I'm giving her the milk I froze and that will last a little longer. I had so many emotions stopping and was feeling guilty but she has some of my antibodies in her. And as selfish as it sounds I wanted to be ready for when I go back to work. I know I can pump at work but in my head I don't want to take an hour to pump...I'd rather spend my hour working so I can get home to her. I also learned that my mom went back to work 2 weeks after she had me so give or take...I wasn't breast fed very long... I feel good about it now because I can give other more love, hugs and kisses, even if she pulls away sometimes ;)

I love having photo shoots with her but Gramza seems to think I'm crazy, I say it's an in home studio. Hehe

Here she is for her 8 week photo shoot

At the doctors- before, during and after...

Mom turned upside down is...WOW

I know corny!  I just can't believe baby girl is already six weeks old...the reason I don't call her by name on here is because I just don't want to expose her name over the internet.  I probably sound crazy...it's a crazy mom thing =)

Anyway, I can't believe she's already six weeks old.  She's growing and I'm still trying to figure out her schedule...time watcher me tries to do a set thing everyday but I'm finding that it's really not working at the moment.  Hopefully, it works itself out.

I was lucky enough to have a day to myself in the city this week...well I had my 6 week check up too...it was nice, but I'm actually over 'city' life.  I couldn't imagine strolling her around...ugh it would be a nightmare.  Either way, I'm rushing because I see her wiggling in the monitor.

Such a random entry, but very excited for the holidays and I managed to get most of my shopping done =)  and my sister helped with getting baby girl her dress for Christmas Day...OK, diaper changing is calling.  I will be back...there's a few photos below.

Ok, I know I'm being a total hypocrite with my explanation above because there's pictures of her names below..oops!

With her Papa

Test shoot: awesome gift from our friends from Boston =) "We didn't know which doll to get so we figure the mexican / white doll would do =)"

Baby girl with her buddy

Six Weeks 

A smiley photo

I had to get a photo of her mid-sneeze hehe

 

Don't wake the BAYBEE!

My goodness, for the most part babies can sleep through anything...loud music, phone conversations, tv, anything. This is when they're asleep.

Sometimes it takes us quite sometime to get her down for bedtime and when she's finally asleep I find myself whispering so i don't wake the BAYBEE! It just takes so much effort sometimes...but you know what, at least she's not crying :)

M.O.M

In the Gramza household, I have some free time so decided to update the blog.  Gramza is working from home today as last night was on of those challenging nights...

Baby girl didn't go to sleep around 4:30am last night and poor thing was just so tired.  Well throughout the day she didn't sleep well and she hadn't relieved herself until 11pm...I've never been more thrilled to hear a baby pass gas or have a dirty diaper.  Anywhoo, she still was sleeping and everytime we tried putting her down she would wake up 15 minutes later...so I took a nap from 12-3, while Gramza tried to put her to bed and I took the 3am shift so Gramza could take a nap...I was able to get her to sleep but when I put her down it was like clock work...she work up 15 minutes later.  So our solution, I slept on the couch with baby girl sleeping on top of me.  At this point, I was like whatever works, I'm taking it!  She was pretty restless but she was able to get sleep.  I woke up at 9am to see her hugging me.  Cutest thing ever, wish I had a camera...

Well this exact thing happened last week and the doctor told us that it's a growth spurt...so we're going with that.  She's sleeping now, thank goodness because she's was looking exhausted and there's no way I'm going to try to wake her up. 

So, I got to thinking and made up my own acronym to what the word M.O.M means to me...so here it goes:

Maternal
I definitely believe the maternal instinct entered my body once baby girl was born.  I hate seeing her fussy and crying and knowing that she's just not comfortable.  I just want to make it better and I'm finding myself trying to soothe this baby girl until she's content, relaxed and just hanging out in my arms.  It's crazy to find myself start knowing what she needs to calm her down and it's a nice feeling at that.

Overwhelming
There's no doubt in my mind that this new job as a new mommy is overwhelming.  It's amazing starting to see her have eye contact with us and start reacting when we mess with her =) ... but I have to say with the lack of sleep and nights like last night, it can get overwhelming.  Thankfully it is temporary because how I'm feeling today versus yesterday is definitely a 180 degree turn around.  And a quick shout out to Gramza because we just make an awesome team.  We do have a system in place that works and God bless his soul that he puts up with my lack of sleep tantrums but thankfully, they're not that often =)

Mindblowing
It still amazes me that this little girl was made by two human beings and came out of me!  She is an amazing little girl and it blows my mind what I learn about her everyday.  She loves to be swaddled (then breaks free during the night!), right when she's about to go into a deep sleep she smiles followed by a roar looking facial expression, when she's hungry she makes a cute little 'wah' noise, when she wakes up she stretches like she's never stretched before (we think that's her passion), she LOVES bath time!  We made up this corny song when we get ready for bath time and when she hears the water it calms her down right away.  She becomes so zen after bath that nothing bothers her.  We dance to light classical music to keep her entertained.  She hiccups like a grown person and just makes me laugh because she has an expression of "what?" And when the weather is nice, she loves her walks and tummy time gets exciting as she's picking her head up little by little.  She blows our mind everyday, and she's just the cutest thing ever =)

Here we are coming back from a walk.  I had to adjust her hat...it's a little big

This is the after swaddle.  She loves being swaddled going to bed but she makes these noises and we find her like this everytime

I'm sorry Mother Nature....I cheated on you with Science

I've been very dedicated to breast feed Ania since we brought her home from the hospital and my milk production hasn't been to bad.  I've been able to pump about 5oz each day and freeze the goods but last night I fed Ania and she just would not go to sleep, she kept reaching and I would give but then after she fell asleep and I'd take her off the boob, she'd start crying and reaching...so the cycle would repeat...well I haven't been feeling as 'engorged' so I haven't pumped and I just wanted to sleep...so I gave in...I reached for the ready made formula, gave her an ounce...and BAM sound asleep for four hours.

Since we left the hospital, the peditrician told us not to feel bad if we had to supplement and at first there were no if, and's or but's...but honestly it was quite a relief that it calmed her down and we were able to sleep for a bit...

Motherhood itself is no joke!  I've had people ask me every now and then 'how's the adjustment?' I do think it's a crazy adjustment and I'm giving Ania pep talks while I'm feeding her at 2am asking her to have sweet dreams and let her mommy and daddy get rest so we can take care of her...but newborns have it their way, which is totally OK.  Gramza and I have been trying to things out to see if she'll sleep longer in the night...we've experimented with the following but to our luck, it's the same outcome:

1) 30-40 min feeding, followed by Daddy's diaper changing skills
2) Diaper change, then feeding (the whaling on this girls cry got Gramza to buy ear plugs so he can overcome and be able to change)
3) 15 min feeding, diaper change, 15 min feeding - this one has been the most calming one so far...

Here's to hoping for some sleep...

3 Weeks!

Ania is already 3 weeks old (well...tomorrow that is).  Talk about time flying!  It's amazing noticing her grow overnight and clothes that fit one day prior don't fit the next day!  We're going to practice putting her on her stomach this week to exercise her neck muscles

In the meantime...her she is hanging out --

Thank you Epidural, you've made me a believer!

I've had a quick minute to just get my thoughts together and wanted to document my labor before I forget and put it away in the vault :)

Well I had an appointment with Dr. Rachel the week before Halloween. I was already 3cm dilated but was told it could last until my due date. Thankfully, that week we weren't ready for Ania to come yet as Gramza had a test to take and we wanted one more weekend to ourselves. Doc mentioned I could take evening primrose to help soften my cervix, but I wanted no such thing until after Gramzas test was finished. So, I started taking the supplement on 10/28. I just started getting Antsy so I drank pineapple juice as I read it was anatural way to induce labor... Still nothing and we were able to enjoy the last weekend in October.

So, on Sunday, I read on the Internet that you can put the evening primrose in your 'who-ha' to help things along... I know tmi...so that night I followed that experiment. Well late in the night I started feeling cramps but naive me thought nothing of it so I just went back to sleep. I even woke up to kiss Gramza bye and wished him a great day...Until 7am came along. That's when my contractions really started... They started at about every 10 minutes then quickly jumped to every 5 minutes. I called Gramza that he may need to turn around because I was having contractions...next was a call to my mom and as I quote "you call your husband and go to the hospital". So I'm at home having contractions every 5 mins and wasn't sure what time Gramza was going to get back home...luckily he arrived at 9am and contractions were still 5 mins apart and my water had already broke. We were prepared with having our bags already packed but for some reason I'm waiting by the door and Gramza keeps reappearing with plastic bags full of stuff. I have no idea what's in the bags but it's only natural to yell at him as to what's taking him forever! Thankfully it wasn't during rush hour so off to NYC we go.

The car ride wasn't that fun...Gramza is constantly reminding me that my contractions are 5 min apart, him driving over a trench during a contraction and the ever so awkward valet guy looking in the car intensely when we get to the hospital. But we made it. Of course my first question when we get to labor and delivery is when can I get the drugs? I get admitted and finally my best friends get there. I was already 5 cm when we got to the hospital, I got the drugs and was back to myself.

I must say my doc was so awesome! She stayed until I delivered and the nurses were amazing. I reached 10cm at 230pm and waited about an hour before pushing started. And yes, it does feel like a bowl movement. Needless to say my room was quiet, full of laughter and serene. In between pushing my doc joked that the baby had red hair. I would've died! Lol jk. So after an hour of pushing, discussing the kardashian divorce and a couple jokes, the baby was born at 4:37pm on Oct 31, 2011. I thought labor was going to be longer but it actually came really fast!

I will be honest, my first initial reaction was SHOCK. This came out of me? But we're getting to know each other and were getting along fine :). We have a healthy baby girl and shes awesome! More to come!

Twenty-Nine...going on thirty-nine

"lying in my bed, I hear the clock and think of you".

That was the first thing that ran through my mind this morning. Time after time...

There's a new chapter that's about to begin in my life and it's hitting me... Right about now! Today is my 29th birthday and every year I think about the past year and evaluate if it's everything I expected and wanted to accomplish for that year and I think about a new list and things I want to do in the next year.

Sometimes I wonder "how can I make the following year worth it". Well for starters, Gramza and I always joke around with how thing happen. The usual fairy tale is boy meets girl, boy falls in love, boy proposes and they enjoy there time together before starting a family. Most span it out for months, even years...but we were able to accomplish everything in less than a year...well it's been more than a year now but we're able to say we got pregnant, engaged, married, took a honey/baby moon, and move in a matter of 9 months. Not to shabby, we think we can almost write a book. Haha jk.

That's just how our life worked out, but getting back to my point...this past year was everything and more I ever expected. I met my partner in life, a man that takes me for who I am, I have an awesome family and extended my family beyond belief, wonderful friends that keep me smiling and laughing and young, a career that I enjoy and people I work with who are just absolutely great and learning from, and one of the greatest of getting to know this little girl that's been growing in my belly and is teaching so much without knowing it.

I love the fact that everyone goes through different experience and has different stories that help mold them into who they are today. I absolutely feel like the luckiest girl in the world. I think back at all the experiences that I've had, the different chapters through the years and life lessons I've learned. I wouldn't change it for the world because I love the person I've become and am looking forward to the person I'm going to be...

Cheers to 29! The last year in my twenties and a new year to new beginnings I'm looking forward to :)

Purple people eater...

Gramza and I went to a wedding this past weekend.  We didn't stay too long but it was nice to get dressed up and go out.  We think this is probably the last time we'll be out together like this until baby girl arrives =)

Again, with the purple...

Control issues...

All is fine out there, thank goodness. But let me say out loud that I have control issues and this baby is teaching me a lesson. She's toying with my mind and I'm starting to think the doctors has a small dose of weather man syndrome. There's going to be a 10% chance of rain tomorrow, all weekend, next week and the week after. Just as I keep hearing it can be any day, next week, up to my due date or after. So I've patiently bought a flower and am going to watch it grow :P

False Alarms?!?!

So I'm sitting at home at this very moment watching "a baby story" on TLC. I went about my usual routine: wake up, get ready and go to work. Well I'm in a morning meeting and I start to feel a gush...down there. Yes, probably TMI but I don't think there's nothing about pregnancy and labor that's pretty, which those are just educated guesses based on assumptions :).

Anywho, I'm in the work bathroom and it's not a pretty site. So I call my doc, which she's conveniently out of the office today, and the back up doc is in emergency surgery, so I leave my number with the office. I walk back to let my boss know that I need to go because I just didn't feel like I should be waiting at work. The funny thing is that I contemplated it. Sad but absolutely true. So I take the light rail home and at the same time Gramza is driving back home...

So here we are, he's working from home and I'm here waiting for a call from my doc. The "gushing" has sub-sided and ive researched on the Internet and our trusty book. Well, I'm monitoring her movement and resting on my couch. Curve ball número UNO...hopefully all is well and we can go about our day...

The Ticking Time Bomb...

Hello 37.5 weeks...honestly I'm starting to lose count.  I literally just asked Gramza but I'll get the final answer tomorrow when I go see Dr. Rachel tomorrow afternoon.

So we're just counting down now and we're starting to put our bets in.  We FINALLY finished washing all the baby stuff, unpacked all the boxes, put together the swing and stroller, the crib has bedding and now all we have to do is bring this little girl home.  We already pre-registered at the hospital.  Yesterday, we visited two pediatricians and a possible daycare...

Let me tell you about this daycare. It's affiliated with a Catholic church and the director and teachers are filippino.  Everyone was very nice and I even left calling the director 'tita' instead of Ms. and throughout the whole tour she called me 'Anak'.  Well watching the teachers in the infant room reminded me of the Lola's (filippino for Grandma) that take care of baby's.  Well, I have a feeling our little girl will get special treatment =)  Well we still need to fill out the paperwork and we're looking into enrolling her at the beginning of January. 

I'm not going to lie...I'm a bit freaked out but at the same time I'm a little calm.  It's kind of weird that in a few weeks there's someone in this world that's going to be looking to me as 'mom'.  It's kind of surreal because I've been about me for so long and Gramza is a big advocate that I still think of me from time to time.  It's crazy to think about but I'm already thinking about my first race I want to run and Gramza is cheering me on to just pick a race.  Awesome. 

Well it's getting late so off to bed ---

One of the last nights' out together -- awesome dinner at Fig and Olive for my cousin's 40th birthday this past Saturday

And one of the last (probably last) comparison's of Gramza and me...

And one just for fun-- we were strolling in Liberty park and wanted my first photo with her in front of the city I lived in for 6 years...



P.S. I guess I have a thing for purple...or those are the only things that fit me and I refuse to buy anything new =)

The docta's touch...ouch!

First of many new things, I got an iPhone :) it's an awesome gizmo and I get to update as I sit in bed. Talk about technology and thank you for welcoming me...

Ok- down to the real deal. Today was my last two week visit with Dr. Rachel, as my cousin and I refer to her. I has my strep B test and the first check up on my cervix dilation. Well I'm happy to report that at 36 weeks and 4 days, I've gained 27 pounds. To celebrate I pigged out on pizza today :). Back to the doc, well when she checked to see how much I was dilated, I was like hello! Uncomfortable! But she reported I
2 cm dilated right now which she said it could stay that way until my due date. I told her I felt some cramping and thought they were Braxton hicks but doc said I prob experienced light contractions and not to worry they'll feel 100 times worse when the real thing happens. I'm just too excited!

Anywho, off to bed as Gramza is knocked out and he already thinks I'm cheating on him with my new phone ;)

Happy weekend!

Unselfish Beginnings...

So, we're now at 36 weeks and things are starting to set in that this is the last month.  I feel like we're almost set.  I have a list of the things that we need to get before the 'baybee' arrives, so hopefully we'll have everything crossed off within the next week or so...

For the last month, I feel like I was so busy with everything...especially work but finally this past Friday things started to calm down.  As my boss told me "You're preparing for another project that's going live in about a month"...it's nerdy lingo but I get it. 

There's one thing I'm a little torn about -- for a good two weeks, I've been working past 7pm and on my walk home I would call my mom just talking about things I'm kinda worried about when she enters this world...she definitely gives great advice, but the one thing I told her that's hard is that even though I'm walking out of the door when the sun is down, I actually, genuinely really like and enjoy my job.  I get it, it's all about balance and I know that everything will fall into place once things settle down, however...it still crosses my mind what am I going to do.  It's only something minor =)  My work baby shower or tea as we're calling it is on Tuesday.  I don't know any details but all I know it's during an afternoon tea.  My plan is to bring the camera to capture those moments of the great people I work with.

Moving along -- I have been a little panic-y about this whole birthing process.  I'm just not too sure how this girl is going to come out of me.  As I told Gramza, I'm just not going to give birth...hehehe  I'm finally feeling some effects on my body.  I feel heavier, I now have to roll off the couch and sleep with six pillows.  That's right six, while Gramza has one.  Getting a little more graphic, my pelvic bone hurts like a mother at times and Gramza was been named my designated back and leg massager.  Thankfully, I can still tie my own shoes but I've heavily relied on slip ons =)  I drink about 2 liters of water a day and about 3 glasses of milk and I go to the bathroom about 100 times a day.  The worst is when I've woken up with a bad leg cramp and I'm grabbing Gramza for dear life and he doesn't flitch.  Awesome.  It's such a painful feeling, I never even had these bad boys when I was running long distances...

Honestly, after all the things going on now, I'm not going to say it's the best experience ever.  I'm counting down the moments I get my body back!!  Yes, I'm saying it because as much as I feel blessed having this baby growing in me and just watching my stomach jolt because of her hiccups...it definitely is a self esteem stigma when I walk into the stores I use to go into and nothing fits and I just look.  I went to Marshalls and TJ Maxx the other week to buy sweats...but Stylish sweats...hahah

So other things we've already scheduled is the daycare tour and the pediatricians office....we're talking 10/17 off to see everything so we can't wait to corss those off the list.  We've also been blessed to have my sister drop off about a million boxes for the baby.  Being a little sarcastic...it's so much stuff and we have to give her some back as she's trying to trick us into giving us boy clothes...

Ok...until next update...

Talk about time flying and we're counting down the days until our life changes =)  Here are some photos...not the greatest but still capturing some moments...

This is where the baby is going to sleep...just need to put the sheets on.

The versatile baby bag I got on eBay.  I'm looking to only carry one bag =)

36 weeks

I'm Back!

I feel like I've been on Hiatus...well, mostly because we didn't get internet connection until about two weeks ago, but I'm here now.

Well I feel like time has just flown by, I'm already at 34 weeks and in 3 weeks, I'm already considered full term.  I still feel like this is a dream sometimes and I"m going to wake up and be skinny and just go to work like any normal day.  But I wake up everyday and look in the mirror and there it is, my basketball of a belly staring me in my face.

I must say, so far, I've been having a pretty good pregnancy.  Thankfully, I've gotten many compliments that I've only gained in my stomach.  I have been able to be active whenever possible either it be the freakin' elliptical, walking home from work and having to travel to and fro to NY...

Ok, feel like I'm dragging here but with everything going on, we've gotten so much done.  We've finally settled into our new place, have a car and now baby preparing is in motion.  It's amazing how much there is to do to prepare for a little nugget to come into this world...the list is starting to get longer.  My old dress is now painted and Gramza put together the crib today and oddly enough the furniture goes well together.  Now to do the baby's laundry.  And thanks to ebay I finally got my diaper bag.

I have so much on my mind, yet it's blank now.  I'll be back...

Timeline of events...

So lots of things have happened since I last wrote...with my growing belly and Gramza and my relationship.  I'll start things in order...from what I remember.

Gramza and his ol' lady.
On July 23, 2011, Tom and I celebrated the sacrament of marriage.  I know it sounds a bit insane but the way it came about was quite interesting.  So here's my side.  After we found out we were pregnant, I was very adimit of getting married for the right reasons, not just because here's this man that knocked me up.  So in the beginning we were of course going to be together and then we went on vacation and we got engaged.  We then had a long talk and agreed that we would get married after the baby was born since we had so much going on.  Also, we just didn't want to go to the courthouse, in front of strangers to get this piece of paper.  If we were to get married, it was to be in a Catholic Church with family. 

Anyway, things started to come together for us and we were just relaxed.  One Saturday we were running errands, long story short we stopped by the frying pan, a boat parked along the hudson, to grab a beer.  Well him not me for obvious reasons.  We just got to talking and were loving the idea of getting our family here and getting married sooner than later.

To our luck, we found a church in the city, met with the priest and agreed to marry us.  Our families penciled in the date and we planned everything.  My brother in law helped us tremedously get the restaurant for the reception and sister helped with making the flower girls bal boquets.  Everything came together perfectly and I wouldn't have changed it for the world!  Of course we wanted everyone who cares about us there, but knowing who we are, we aren't the kind of people to have a lot of attention drawn to us.  There's nothing wrong with it, it's just what we wanted and it felt so right.  The family enjoyed!  We're planning next year to have something with our friends...in Houston.  Again, it won't be anything big, but it will be something special and this time around our little girl will be able to join in the fun =)

Ok. I'm most likely going to hyphenate my name...I know it's long but it's an identity thing with me and I just LOVE my last name.  Great thing is Gramza is totally behind it. 

So that long breath is done....I'm now 27 weeks.  On the cusp of my 3rd trimester.  Well I had my doctor's appt last week and I gained 7 lbs since my last appt.  I've been doing everything right except one....carbs.  I've just been eating to many of those darn things...from pancakes, cookies, popcorn, hotdog buns, biscuits, etc....you name it I ate it.  So my challenge is to stop a little...moderation only.  Well, doc told me to just watch a little more bc if I continue on the carb train, I'm just going to be miserable at the end of the pregnancy.  Definitely noted! 
Hopefully, this calms it down some....

Well next weekend, we're FINALLY moving into our new place!  I definitely can't wait!  I'm pretty much packed and Gramza is packing as we speak.  We've purged a lot of our things and we've decided we'll be getting new kitchen stuff, which is pretty exciting because we love to eat in =)  A broker has been showing my apt and let me tell you, my place may be small, but it's a hot commoditiy...I think there's already a new tenant, as the broker said she has a client who wants to move in a few days before 9/1...

Have a great week everyone!  It'll be an awesome one for us!!

So for our honeymoon, we went to Turks and Caicos for some relaxation

Here I am at 26 weeks...

The water was just beautiful

Gramza got camera happy...

I couldn't resist.  Gramza ALWAYS blinks in photos...

Fish Bowl

Well unfortunately these updates are not on real time basis...I'm currently 26 weeks pregnant, however posting 24 week old pregnant photos...I'll catch up, one day.

Gramza may look small, but he's actually quite taller than me...so anyway, this is what rain on vacation does...It gets me to update this...I'll be posting more later.  Sunday Funday without the alcohol.

They Exist!

You know when you're a child and you hear stories about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny...you never see them but they believe they exist?  Well, that's sort of the comparison with Gramza's friends. =)  I always heard stories and believed they exist and until this past weekend, they exist!  They're real!  See photo attached =)

We had a great weekend in Boston.  I got to meet his life prior to NY and he got to show me his town.  I've been so used to walking the streets of NY and showing him the way but it was so relaxing to be a part of his world, not knowing where to go and he led the way.  Awesome tour guide, who needs the duck truck...or that's what I termed it.  I figured why go on one of those when I see them everywhere in NY and don't dare to go on it...walking tours are always the best =)

Thankfully, we came home a day early...need I say to rest...because we are boring now.  But the sad thing is that we're back in our different towns...until next weekend...

Congrats to Sarah and Justin!!  They welcomed a baby girl, Rachel Stephanie into this world today.  And as Xtina says, "Rachel came and said Tah Dah!"....I add "with spirit fingers and the shimmying" =)

P.S. not cool when a stranger asks me if I'm 7 months pregnant....ummmm far from! 

Tweedle Dee...

Tweedle Dumb?  Yup, that's me.  Or that's how I feel at the moment.  I'm either forgetting something or I'm losing my mind...sometimes I have conversations with Gramza and next thing you know he's asking me about something we talked about....and I have no recollection to what he's saying.  I completely forget.  Talk about not cool.  Work is a different story, I'm constantly writing EVERYTHING down...my morning lists, things I have to do, etc. etc. etc.  I really hope this is temporary but I hear it only gets worse.  Lord, help me.  =)

On another note, I'm starting to have fun with people.  Some co-workers ask me in the bathroom, hallway, pantry etc. if I'm pregnant.  I look them straight in the face and tell them..."no....why?"  For that split second, they look confused but I rescue them and tell them the truth.  I just ate too many hotdogs.  Again, I kid again.  We then go into stories about children and whether its a boy and a girl.  There's only so much I can say about a growing fetus in my belly.  "Yeah, I'm having a girl."  "I know, can't wait to dress her"  Followed by "girls are precious" yada yada yada

I actually ran into an old co-worker today waiting for the train, which I hadn't seen him since March.  We got to talking all the way back to NY.  He looked a bit concerned and gave the disclaimer "I know you're never supposed to ask but are you pregnant?"  I tell him the truth with the polite, "Yes, I am"  His response "Thank goodnes, congrats!  I was about to say I know you ran a lot and were thin but is that what happens when you stop"  No offense here, I just proceeded to tell him how I've been telling him how I sometimes say no when people ask me.  Again, he tells me, "nothing has changed I see, still giving people a hard time (or in lamens terms, you're such a jackass)".  But after all small talk, he kindly told me that I look really happy and pregnancy is doing me good.  Such a nice way to end the day =).

Well tomorrow is my 20 week sonogram and I'll probably update this thing again.  We can't wait to see her again.  Oh I forgot to mention, baby girl is starting to move! I started feeling her about a week or two ago and at first I thought it was gas, but later figured out nope, it's the baby.  She's probably doing tumbles and dancing in there,like the cha cha or something.  I just can't wait until Gramza can start feeling what I'm feeling...probably not for awhile.

My parents are in town this weekend.  Proud grandparents to watch Polina's dance recital.  Speaking of nieces, I told Polina that she has to show baby girl the ropes around this town...and what does she ask me, "Tita Leez, can she dance?"  I tell her, "no, not yet, but will you teach her?"  But Polina tells me, "but Tita Leez, she doesn't know how to dance."  Girl has high standards.  But Polina's told me the baby has to be this big before she comes out.  Which babygirl is in fact true.

I had a point, oh yes, my parents and Gramza's parents were supposed to meet this weekend...unfortunately, we had to cancel due to unexpected circumstances and Gramza's parents couldn't drive up...next time.

I'll continue later with more updates...we're getting ready for a thing and I'll expand on that tomorrow or so.  Gramza is coming into town tonight and staying all the way until after July 4th.  So great,  he's going to be showing me his old town next weekend. 

Toodle loo...

Life's Expectations

So I was at the gym today jogging along and my mind got to thinking...about how my relationship with Tom unfolded and the women in my life that helped mold me to who I am and who I want to represent to my daughter...

(the first weekend Gramza visited me in NY, he REALLY liked me =P)



Before I ever met Gramza, I was very content with my life and I enjoyed every minute of it.  I was okay with whatever way it was going to turn out...if I was going to meet anyone or not, stay in NY and anything and everything.  I was able to travel and do the things I wanted to do.  Then I think back to when I met Gramza.  I thought nothing of him being someone in my life...no offense to him but I did think he was a nice person but I was not thinking of inserting a relationship of any kind.  I guess I was content with being alone...but the thing is, when Gramza entered my life everything about our timeline seems so relaxed, everything fell into place, and it was meant to be that way.  And when I found out we were both scorpios, I thought this is either going to work or not.  I'm not an astrological person but it did come to mine.  Needless to say, he makes me calm and became a great addition to my life...our baby's due date is 11/5, which is Gramza's birthday.  If that's not meant to be, than I don't know what is...

I have been very open with not having the maternal instinct...yet and just today I thought to myself, what kind of mother am I going to want to become.  I know there's no wrong or right answer and I thought of the women in my life...aunts, cousins, sisters...and mother's...my mother.  I thought about what she did to raise me and how our relationship is today...and thought that's the mother I want to be.  My ma has always been a woman who is sensitive, always wanted the best for me, gave me her opinions and helped me through everything.  She's a quiet soul who's experience everything from the sun and back.  She handles sitiuations with her head held high and at the same time presents a laid back personality that I adore.  Of course there's differences every now and then but respect is always present.  She's always trusted the decisions I've made and I thank her for pushing us toward independence.  I remember, when I graduated high school, she really wanted me to go to school out of the city.  I went 2.5 hours away to try it out but welcomed me back when I came back home to finish school.  She provided for my siblings and me...everything.  She's a funny woman that makes me laugh and still to this day cooks anything we request.  There's so much more about my ma that I can't even describe into words and that's exactly the person I want to try to become to my daughter.  Another women that I have met recently yet will be apart of our lives from this point foward is Gramza's mom, Mo.  At first it boggled my mind how children can call there mother by her first name, but quickly learned its a sign of recognition.  Not everyone can call her that...my point being and what I've quickly learned is that she helps when she can and is maybe as laid back as my ma.  Blessing, definitely.  Life expectation, most likely.

At this point in my life, I've been the most relaxed.  It's funny because my boss is probably the person that sees me on a daily basis.  She knows everything that's going on and she looks at me and says, "you're so zen"  Maybe I am, but this is where I'm supposed to be.  Right here, right now.

Science Experiment Numero Uno

and so it begins...

Well, we're playing around with our new camera and starting to document.  So it begins...I'm starting to show and I thought it would be a good idea to see if Gramza will grow too.  Ask me again in another month or two and the idea may change...

But here we are at 19 weeks and 1 day taken in the lovely Syracuse, NY.  We met here for family fun weekend and as soon as arrived at the Syracuse airport the first thing that came to mind was...'are we on the set of roseann?'  Yeah, seriously.  But other than that, the weekend was really nice and the Gramza clan is just very...awesome.  Knowing they grew up on watching the price is right, followed by Y&R and sticking to Guiding Light.  I must say my family was on the same schedule...

Now back to resting and getting ready for the new week.  Team blue but really pink =)

Around the world in 80 days...

Well...in my head at least.

We're just about 19 weeks and things are coming along.  We have an apartment and it's just perfect and in Jersey.  The great thing is though, the NY skyline is in our view and the statue of liberty to gently remind us of the freedom we once had =P  All kidding aside, it's a fabulous place.  A park right next door, on the water, two bedroom and two bath, gym, balcony, and I think what sold me was the washer/dryer INSIDE the unit.  I couldn't believe that those existed on this side of the world.  The neighborhood is cute and it's near work, the potential daycare and near the trains to Gramza's work.  That's something to check off the list =)

The baby registry has been created...we're looking into Amazon.com and Target.  Fun!  I just have to get things situated and plan with my mom's schedule...so we're thinking about a Houston baby shower in August since I won't be able to fly after...

Another great thing is that I was going to be taking 3 months off but now it turns out I'll be taking 4 months off.  It's kind of weird to me because the last time I had that much time off was when I graduated college.  It's just because I have to use up my 2011 PTO by then.  Yup, that much vacation and I'm very grateful. 

I'll admit.  I'm human and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed.  There's a lot going on between now and when the baby comes.  Gramza and I have our weekends and plans we have to have things by until August..and to be honest it does get exhausting and sometimes I do get emotional.  But I have a moment and move forward because these things have to be done.  I've always thought of myself as a good multi-tasker...with work.  But to juggle things is a different story but it's getting handled.  I remember during college, I didn't work.  It was only until my schedule cleared up was when I got a job.  The sound of that sounds so easy right now.  I'm just trying to juggle all the balls and hopefully not drop one...we're trying to find a home and create a nice environment for baby girl Gramza, plan our future together, work and meet our deadlines, car, moving dates, baby showers, doctor's appts, etc. etc...all in a matter of months.  No pity here, just a small 2 minute vent session.  My career is to work on projects and meet deadlines and ensure everything goes as scheduled...I lived my life sorta the same way but lightened up a lot within the last year and "just went with it"...talk about an accelerated life project.  But the greatest thing is the support we do have from those we love and love us back. 

Life is life...and this is what makes it worth while.  A wonderful 2011,  new babies are coming into the scene!!

No longer an "IT"

OK, so before May 26, 2011, I admit I called the fetus growing inside me an "IT" and so did Gramza but that has come to an end.  With legs spread wide open, we found out there's a little baby girl getting big and healthy in my belly.  She wasn't being very modest but she knew better because she soon crossed her legs after.  It was an amazing feeling all over again.  Gramza is staring at the screen just repeatedly saying "wow" and I'm laying on the bed repeatedly saying "really".  The technician must have thought we had a huge vocabulary.

We soon shared the news with family and friends and thankfully were visiting the parents in Houston the next day.  That was an event in itself.  I worked a half day while Gramza wandered Jersey City.  Before heading to the airport we went to a potential daycare down the street.  Everyone was very nice and we took a tour of the babies room.  The school even does art projects with infants as young as two months with their hands and feet.  To say the least, we turned in an application to begin the wait list process for baby girl Gramza.  Yup, a waiting list.  These older kids need to graduate, who do these 15 month old kids think they are, a new girl needs to come into town.

Houston was great, we were able to relax and spend time with family and friends.  We even got our first baby gifts and started filling out the baby book.  This kid is going to think her parents are crazy!  And what's even crazier is falling asleep while watching tv, thinking it's super late only to look at the clock and see it's 11:30PM.  I'm living on the wild side these days!!  Another thing I realized is that everyone's mothering technique is different.  I love hearing how all my friends are doing it but it's also great to know it's really up to us how we raise this girl =)
Oh, I started to go through the Girlfriends guide to pregnancy book and I like skimming and there's some parts I just don't agree with.  Just basically says eat what you want and don't worry about the gym.  Ok, that's fine for some people, but that's just not me.  I get it, but it's not me. 

We have another doctor's appt this week for my blood results and such.  It's time to talk to the doc about hospitals and the whole process in that...

Things...and more things

I've reached the four month mark and the first thing on my to-do list is to get the girlfriends guide to pregnancy (I think that's the name).  I just want some reading material because I'm starting to make up words to fill these cross word puzzles...almost, but not really.

The weekend events were eventful.  Had my first prenatel massage and I must say I don't know if I'll ever go back.  It was absolutely fabulous!!  And there's all these blocks and foams and such so that I'm comfortable and can lay on my stomach.  Genius!

I also took my first stroll into a babystore...as mom's said to not buy anything, I was going there for research.  I wanted to price some things and it wasn't pretty. We have a list in our head of what we'll need as soon as the baby comes, and things that can wait a few months (e.g. a high chair).  Thankfully, I want to get the same one as my sister...it's a little pricy, but compact and after the baby is finished using it, it turns into an adult folding chair.  Love that idea hate the price....but if I divide the cost to the number of years the baby will use it, were good.  Just like expensive shoes =).  Again, comparing the wrong things...

On another great note, I found my happy place at the gym without over doing it.  It's not as fast as I go pre-pregnancy, but it's still a stride and on treadmill and I feel great.  So far, so good.  Let's see what happens in another month.

Onto other things about the same topic...things.  Gramza has been such an awesome team mate.  He's taken one for the team and his been making the calls to daycares, churches, making the spreadsheets for the cars, making appts to look at apts and beyond.  I won't toot his horn because he's already hooking 483 miles away.  But it's just great help.  We've come to an agreement on a car which we need to still see...the goal is to get this thing before July 4th as the point is to try and drive to Boston.  We have a daycare application for our unborn child as the one we're possibly interested in has a wait list and we're looking to apply now.  Awesome!  Child's Name? John/Jane...boy/girl? we don't know yet.  Can we fill out an application in that manner?  and don't get me started on the monthly tuition.  oy vey!  but the good thing is that the place is down the street from my work, which is a great thing.  And for apts...it's still too early to start looking so we'll need to wait another month or two...

Thursday may be a newsbreaking day...we may find out what we're having...hopefully if we can, we can add a few more things to the list...names, middle names, nicknames and more!  And last but not least, note to self: STOP stepping on a scale at the gym!!

A.M. I??

Adjustments. Maternal. Instincts

Those were just some of my thoughts for today...

When I mention adjustments I just think about everything as a whole...I have to adjust to this growing body.  I have to adjust my physical routine.  I have to adjust to pretty much everything.  I think the hardest thing for me now is seeing it change before my eyes.  My routine usually consisted of me training for something, a race, going to swim practice, etc.  I used to be able to do so much.  I know I can still do most of the things but what I'm realizing is the snails pace I'm going now.  Jogging on a treadmill is starting to affect my knees and back...therefore, I have to adjust to something else.  Hello, eliptical and hopefully I can trek to the pool to do that.  This growing belly...its growing and getting used to the fact I can't suck in anymore.  Yes, it's cool to see the growing belly meaning the baby's growing....BUT I have to say it's hard for now getting used to it and it's not a cool feeling feeling big...hopefully it'll subside.  Another big thing is adjusting to food.  I used to be able to eat the same thing and I was a healthy eater for the most part.  I still watch what I eat but it's just getting annoying not knowing what I want to eat at each meal.  I wander around the grocery store trying to figure out what I want because the thought of some food, I just can't stand.  I try to eat a salad a day and the only thing constant is my breakfast.  Cereal and a banana.  Everything else is a toss up. 

The other thing I was thinking about today was maternal instincts.  I have a niece and nephew that I've watched on my own...even for a whole weekend.  I have friends that are telling me that I'll be a great mom but truth of the matter is it runs through my head, can I?  It's definitely a scary thought to care about another human being full time...I don't even have a pet.  Ok, I shouldn't care that statement to "a pet".  My point or answer I'm trying to figure out is when do maternal instincts kick in.  I can't even imagine being called mom, mommy, mama, etc of the sorts.  I'm just trying to sort it all out.  I know there's a book out there "What to expect when you're expecting" and we're reading it as a reference guide...but is there a book out there "maternal instincts for new mothers" sort of thing...or maybe a "being pregnant and staying skinny"  ok maybe going off topic...I guess I'll find out sooner of later...

Have a Terrific Tuesday!

PS. I haven't become a decaf addict, but I do enjoy a cup every once in awhile...we don't have a camera at the moment hence no photos...hopefully that's soon to come =)

Addiction me this...

Pre-pregnancy, my thoughts of decaffeinated were those above..."useless, warm brown water".  Ask me today, my opinion has changed.  And for the better.

Let me give a little background.  On a normal day, pre-pregnancy, I had my daily routine of coffee intake.  I had one at 8am, another at 10am, and another at 2pm...possibly 3pm.  I drank my coffee simple and how I like my men.  Black.  As that's because that's who Gramza is.  I'm kidding by the way.  That answer goes together like ebony and ivory.  Again, no pun intended.  Nonetheless, all my coffee times were drunken (could be wrong use of word) black, some days I'd add a little skim milk if I was feeling a little risk-ay.  Coffee to me, was my equivalent to a smoker's cigarette.  Couldn't wait for the next cup and I even planned my breakfasts around my cup of coffee thinking "what would go with a coffee"  Cereal? Yes. Muffin? Yes. Eggs? Yes.  You name it, that was my beverage.  I didn't care if the cup was hot, warm, or cold.  I drank my coffee until it was bone dry.  Until the touch of the cup was cold, my straw turned a light brown, and the cup stained from the liquid seeping into the paper cup.  For goodness sake, the newstand people knew my order and as soon as I would walk in, they were already preparing my cup o' java.  I was "cup of black" coffee girl. I would go on vacation and they'd ask for me...but now, I'm long gone...maybe.

I never bought decaf coffee because I figured there was no point to the concept.  When I found out I was pregnant, I stopped coffee cold turkey.  The headaches, the yawns but I stuck it through.  Until today.  I decided to take a long walk and was deciding if I should try the decaf coffee...after a block and then some, I walked into an au bon pain, picked myself up a french roast decaf coffee with skim milk.  I took one sip of the java and thought 'what the? this isn't brown water, it's delicious!'  I drank my whole cup and by the end, the coffee was still warm!  Which is definitely not me. 

The point of my blog and the 100 million minutes I'm trying to say is... 
the addiction may have found me...I just may become the decaf black girl to the newstand at work.  Will keep you posted because this is only the beginning.  Hopefully, not a dark beginning...

Happy Monday!

11 plus 1

Gramza's baby mama here.  I'm slowly getting back to earth and walking into society again...and what did I do right after I got off work?  I just decided to buy 12 dresses at three stores.  Over the past few weeks, I've had to say goodbye to my pencil skirts and anything with the word 'fitted' and 'dress' in the same sentence.  I should be set through summer now.  I made sure all dresses were expandable yet flattering.  It's a girl thing.  Well of the 12 dresses, 3 are potentially going back because the dress shrunk.

On another note, I've never been more excited that I am starting to eat left overs.  I love left overs and bringing my lunch!  In the beginning I wasn't able to do that, but now I can bring my salads, fruit, cereal and such and it's a great thing! Until next time...nighty night

gramza here

Hey everyone - this is Gramza, making my blogging debut.  Leez had to show me how to post, add photos, etc. and I'm not sure what I'm doing so bear with me.  by the end of this I'll be an expert.  see what I mean about the nugget's perfect noggin?  the shape came from me, let's hope the hair comes from Leez.  I was going to keep typing and tell you all about how excited I am but I decided to cut it short and keep you all wanting more.  stay tuned for updates.. and more head shots

E. All of the Above

Starting to write about our journey together, I thought about what do I write about...just the nugget growing or give a little glimpse of Gramza and Leez.  I decided to do both because we still have friends and family we've never met.  So, I hope in the mean time this will help "get to know" us a little better. 

First off, Gramza wanted me to 'thank him' for giving our baby a nice round head.  I will be forever grateful for our baby having a nice round head.  I feel like he'll be one of those father's in the delivery room reading the instructions to the camera while I'm in labor and wondering if the camera is working.  I kid =)

Besides that, I'm learning that there's so much to learn and know about pregnancy.  I'm thankful to have family and friends that already have bundles of joy to give me some pointers =) and the hand me downs we're bidding for...haha!

My cousin sent me this link and thought it was the funniest thing.  I'm most likely going to order it tonight...it's called the muffin top stopper (http://www.muffintopstopper.com/main.html?src=%2F)  It'll definitely help when the bottom portion of me starts to grow.

Gramza is on his way here so we decided we need to rack up our brains to make our to-do list.  It's starting to get long...from car buying, apt searching, hospital searching, daycares/nannies, cameras, insurance, etc. just to name of few...we'll than divide and conquer.  We have started looking at neighborhoods that we'll want to start off.  We just need to keep looking...

When we first found out we were expecting, we just didn't know what to do.  The person in me was like, "how can this happen, we're still kids??"  And when reality hit, I soon came to realize that Gramza's in his mid-30s and I'm in my late 20's, we have established careers, so we're not so much kids anymore.  We joked and said we should be on that show 16 and pregnant and on our audition tape we should be like "we're not exactly 16, but we're a little lost, so can we be on he show?"

We were already talking about marriage, but sometimes we have a different order planned for us.  So more to come on this =)

As far as the 12 week sonogram, I thought it was going to be gentle and what not....wrong!  The lady kept pushing my stomach down, moving, asking me to move sideways, etc. so she can get the 'shot'.  Unfortunately, the baby kept moving around so she could not get it for awhile...luckily, we got the shot.

I am due November 7th and should be finding out what we're having next month at my next doctor's appt.  We decided to know what we're having to we can be prepared...

One Hundred and Eighty Degrees

I think my head is still spinning....waiting for it to come to a complete stop.  It's making me a little dizzy.  Oh wait, that's not my head spinning, it's my life turned one hundred eighty degrees in about 5 seconds...flat.  I'm all for change (as that's the current president's 'motto') and I'm slowly getting adjusted to everything around me. 

The blur is becoming focused now.  Ok,much better.  Where do I begin?  Every New Year, I always believe it'll be a great one and it's me who can make it happen.  One year, I was blessed to travel to places I haven't seen before and even towards the second half of the year, I met a really great person.  The story continued and knew 2011 was going to be an even greater year but wasn't sure exactly the who, what, when, where, and how yet...

Here we are close to the second half of 2011 and would have never imagined my life today...and definitely for the best!  We're expecting our first little nugget and we got engaged!  We both knew things have been unconventional in our relationship but neither one of us would have thunk "this unconventional".  We wouldn't have it any other way and we truely believe what's happening is a great blessing for both of us.

As this journey begins, we'll be using this to hopefully update our family and friends near and far =) . 

First, the innocent bystanders...

Who became "grown-ups"

We're just about 12 weeks along, and you can see the little nugget below.  I am so happy this first trimester is just about done because it has not been my friend!  The morning sickness and the foods I can't eat.  I am not one to be difficult when it comes to food, but my goodness I have never wanted crackers, bland food, fruit and pickled anything so much in my life!  Anything that's good and flavorful, I don't want it.  But that's starting to subside as well.  I can't wait to return to earth =) 

I've never been so tired in my life but thankfully my energy is starting to come back! I've also been able to go to the gym but no heavy training exercise and thankfully I haven't gained any weight...yet..