Bummed

I guess I'm realizing that there will be no pictures on the blog post.  Pictures are covered on instagram and I'm proud to report that I finally ordered Cameron's 1st year album.  Going forward, the albums will be so much easier to create because it'll be both of the girls.  Ania has her first year and Cameron has her first year.  I haven't even started on the combo albums.

Anyway, the title of this blog is named bummed.  I'm writing it as one of my life lessons and hopefully when the girls read this, it'll be one of their lessons they take with him.  Let me give a bit of a background.  I feel like I've been going non-stop since July.  Honestly, I don't remember where July and August went, because I blinked and it was September.  I'm still learning how to balance it 'all'.  It's really hard, but I need to learn.  It all started when I came back from vacation and my first day back I saw a meeting invite from one of my managers titled 'catch-up' at 8am.  Great.  Usually, my first days back it's settling in, not doing anything.  Anyway, I had was given a tight deadline that July, and every week (or every other day in August) was 're-tweaking'.  In between that, my days became the routine of meetings all day, go home, family dinner, family time, putting the girls to bed, then logging back in to do the actual work just to stay 'ahead'.  The last re-tweaking was this past Monday, where my co-worker and I were at the office until 10:30pm because something needed to be done by 11:59:59 that day (inside joke).  It got done, and much less not what I expected to begin my Monday.  Back home, life still happens and Cameron was getting sick and not sleeping through the night so Tom and I were taking turns with her.  Monday, I slept with her.  Tuesday, I worked from home and kept the girls home, Tom on Wednesday and Thursday, Friday was me.  Then BAM.  I woke up very tired.  Still went to work but that night it hit me like a wall and my body would not function.  We were supposed to go to Austin on that Saturday to spend Labor day weekend and I signed up for a sprint tri months ago.  Well it didn't really sink in because I kept telling Tom I should be OK tomorrow for us to leave so I can do the race.  Wrong!

Saturday, I felt worse and Tom had both kids all while calling the hotel to try and get a refund.  I guess having the screaming kids in the background worked because we were able to get a refund.  We lost the admission I paid for the race.  Tom hasn't been sleeping either because Miss Cameron decides she wants to wake up at 4am everyday and not want to go back to sleep.  We usually don't ask for help, but we called my parents to get the girls for the night so we can rest.  It really does take a village to raise kids and I need to get out of the mentality that I need to do everything.

So here I am writing on the Monday of the race.  I should be almost done with the run, but I'm sitting taking this home made meds my mom gave me and sitting in front of an aroma diffuser to break up my cough and rid myself of this head cold headache.  Coughing sucks.  Getting sick sucks.  What makes me so bummed that it's my nature that if I say something I'm going to do, I do it.  I had a set back with these sprint tri's where I backed out but I didn't want to be that person again.  I had no choice that I couldn't do it because I'm sick.  I woke up thinking 'I actually couldn't do this race because of the way I feel'.  But life happens.  Sometimes I won't be able to do something.  so what?  I guess I'll have to wait until next year.  Back to the leadership retreat, the #1 to success was to take care of yourself.  I haven't been doing that.  I need to start and it's funny how your body tells you when you need to.  I just need to get well and I was just bummed because these activities are the things that I do in my 'me' time, but I wasn't able to do it.  I guess I'll just keep 'training' until next season...

Life goes on.  It's no big deal.  Repeat.